Good news for the fight against women’s pay discrimination comes from Israel where the High Court dramatically stood up for equality in a country where the wage gaps are bigger than in most western countries (The average for OECD countries is about 84 percent, with Germany at 78 percent and the United States at 77 percent).

For terrific review of American situation, see the American Association of University Women blog “We’re Still Fighting for Pay Equity.”

You got to fight for what’s your right and the Golden Rule in fighting is NEGOTIATE!!!

Here’s the details.  A female store employee sued because her wages were 35% lower than those of a male colleague doing the same work.  A lower court ruled for the store, saying this was not gender discrimination but a contractual negotiation issue.  In other words, the women didn’t ask for what they wanted (equal pay for equal work) so they didn’t get it.

The high court didn’t exactly negate the importance of contract negotiating but did say in legalese that “in certain cases it should be enough to prove the existence of a significant gap in wages for the employer to bear the burden” of meeting laws against gender discrimination.

Translation: it’s now a lot easier to prove discrimination.

“This is an historic ruling,” said attorney Orna Lin, representing the Israeli woman behind the case. “Today an employer will think twice before paying two different employees different wages for doing the same work.”

Even good medical insurance increasingly covers less and entails more out-of-pocket and deductibles ($1000 for individuals, $2000 for families).

Here’s some tips to negotiate  lower medical bills.

Check out the “Health Care Blue Book” created by Dr. Jeffrey Rice of Nashville to help consumers figure out the true cost of a treatment to better negotiate deals with providers. This helps you find out the “fair price” for medical claims, which is what providers would typically accept from insurance companies as payment in full, and is usually less than what a patient gets billed directly. The price of the same procedures, hospital visits and pharmaceuticals usually vary significantly, even within the same market (MRIs, for example, can vary by 500%).

When you know true value, you can be more persuasive.

Offer to pay up-front at the time of service in return for a discount.  Lots of medical offices welcome eliminating the paperwork that billing entails.

Don’t be reluctant to ask what tests you need or don’t need. Patients can ask their primary care physician for advice on preoperative or postoperative tests that they may be able to skip. For example, a healthy patient may be able to opt out of a panel of blood tests that would boost the bill substantially

Ask for the self-pay discount!

If you don’t have insurance, or your policy doesn’t cover a procedure, ask the medical provider what they would charge an insurer or Medicaid for reimbursement.  Providers always charge individuals the highest possible price if you don’t say anything, a price that is higher than what they’ll charge insurers. They can offer an individual the same price without losing money but won’t unless asked!!!!

If you need to pay over time, ask for a no interest plan (such plans exist nationwide at nonprofit hospitals thank to the Obama’s Affordable Care Act).

If you can’t get satisfaction, think about retaining a health care advocate to negotiate with the provider in your behalf.  The advocate will take a portion of the savings that you get, but when you think about saving thousands of dollars it’s well worthwhile.

Telling a persuasive fish tale (“as big as a whale”) means believing—or at least projecting that belief—in your personal version of reality.  While clinical psychologists might liken this to delusional thinking, getting somebody else to embrace your narrative is powerful stuff when it comes to negotiating (as we stress in Dare to Ask!).

Is the ‘personal hype quotient’ gender-related?  Yes!   “When it comes to getting ahead at work,” the Gazette of Montreal reports, “men’s natural overconfidence in their performance helps them ‘fake it ’til they make it, while women are handicapped by the fact that they just don’t exaggerate enough.”  Men willingly inflate their accomplishments (typically a man considers his performance 30% better than it actually is).  Women don’t sing their own praises nearly enough.

Entrepreneur Vickie Milazzo, author of Wicked Success is Inside Every Woman, describes how the process works.  “When I’m hiring, I actually weed out candidates who underprice themselves because I assume they won’t perform up to the level I expect.”

What to do?  Dare to ask for what you want by first believing that you are worth it!  Set the stakes high—higher than you believe can be possibly achieved—and then act like there’s no question you’re more than worth your asking price.  Just like men, women need to be able to ‘fake it until you make it.’

That’s a prime key to successful negotiating.

Founded in 2007 by Susannah Wellford Shakrow—lawyer,  Congressional staffer, member of Hillary Clinton’s Health Care Task Force—the organization offers training and mentoring to high schools from around the country.

At the architecturally stunning offices of law firm DLA Piper (biggest grossing firm in the U.S., revenues over $2.25 billion), Running Start’s perky Executive Director Jessica Grounds gave a shrewd  ‘primer’ on the tricks of working the room in a networking event, something they teach their young women to do (a requisite skill for every aspirant politican).  Who would have thought that there were ‘guidelines’ to the phsyiscal act of meeting-and-greeting!

We found several of these tactics  so useful that we want to pass them along to you women negotiators.

Rule #1:  Introduce yourself with your first and last name every time.  ‘Own your name’ was Jessica’s rule.  And in meeting someone, open-up the conversation by immediately adding on the phrase “I’ve got a question”.  In other words, say ‘I’m Stephanie Brown and I’ve got a question’.  Have the question ready to go, nothing too deep, maybe ‘where did you grow up?’ or ‘where did you get those shoes?’ Bang, you’re off and going.

Rule #2: In working the room, inevitably you’ll find yourself joining a group that is in full chat.  Don’t just hover silently on the outside edge.  Instead, pick out one specific person and introduce yourself.  The circle opens, you’re now no longer an outsider but within it.

Try these the next time you find yourself in a big group of folks.  You’ll be amazed!

The several dozen leaders in the room ran a simulated networking session to test out these (and other) tactics.  Trust me, they work to change the whole atmosphere and make it so much easier to strike up potentially significant relationships.

The story line in this sharp piece of commentary “Get Hired, Not Screwed: Avoid Being Idea-Jacked at the Interview and Still Get the Job” by Kim Tracy Prince comes out of the show business sector in Los Angeles but it could just as easily be New York or Miami or, for that matter, Iowa or Kansas.  A bright woman full of ideas gets invited to take a meeting to discuss a potential job assignment, her great suggestions just bubble forth (particularly if we’re talking social networking, blogging, new media et. al. where the odds are good that you probably know more than the ‘male suit’ likely to be interviewing you).  In the end, not only doesn’t she get the job but she learns that the boys are implementing her ideas without paying for them.

‘Idea-jacking’ isn’t new but women are particularly vulnerable to it. Ann Evanston, owner of Warrior-Preneur, has some great ideas about how to ‘negotiate’ a way around this chronic problem.  First off, dare to make your interests and expectations clear.  Establish at the beginning, ideally via e-mail before the meeting begins, how much time and energy you can give to this ‘conversation’ (it’s easy to get sucked in deeper and deeper).  If they want more, explain that you’ll need a bit of time to figure out ‘next steps’.   “Boundaries,” explains Ms. Evanston, “are a good thing.”

Don’t make the mistake so many women do by thinking that if ‘I just give a little bit more, they’ll eventually give me what I want .’  Use your full repertoire of negotiating tools to not only ‘dare to ask’ but ‘dare to get!’

But whenever I get in front of women to speak, invariably one of the first questions that comes up involves negotiating for a job and pay.  Never fails.  Obviously this is very, very important.  We have to think about negotiating as a skill that goes beyond the work space but—within that space—it is of the utmost importance.  After all, you’re devoting your time, energy, and talent to the job so the least (or most!) you should expect is to get paid what you’re worth.

So I keep an eye out to see what women with good advice about negotiating on the job.  An interesting blogger on the subject is Paula Gregorowicz, a life coach based in Philadelphia (who identifies herself as being “passionate about working with lesbian business owners”).  She recently posted some smart thoughts about “How to Negotiate Your Salary”.   After lunching with a woman in business banking, she returned home to wonder “how much money had I left on the table because I was afraid to ask?”  Quite a bit, she concludes. 

She sets out to help other women avoid her mistakes.  Her advice is spot-on as she touches all the appropriate bases: find out the pay range for the job, never shake hands and say “thank you” after the first offer, if the other side balks at your proposal don’t wither up and melt but ask them ‘what’s the problem’?

But the single biggest problem for women is that WE DON’T NEGOTIATE AT ALL!!!!! Paula G. agrees. There’s lots of reasons, perhaps the most immobilizing of which is that most of us don’t know how!  We  regard it as a mysterious secret rite that we’re not privy to.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!  It’s as simple as asking for what you want.  There are no rules.  The only thing that counts is that you Do It (ideally with a smile on your face because it’s so much fun!!!).

I know that negotiating is one important route to power, but I was curious what bloggers were saying about the fundamental qualities that give a woman a sense of power.  The answer, alas: not much!

A true pity, for this is perhaps THE question.  The more I work with other women teaching them the art of negotiating, the more I am convinced that the process is less about technique than attitude.  It isn’t ‘what’ you say, so much (although in Dare to Ask we certainly provide some reliable scripts) but rather ‘how’ you say it!

If you think you are empowered, you’re half-way there.

Trouble is, the route to empowerment itself (as opposed, say, to job success or romantic conquest) appears to be a subject that isn’t lighting up the charts.  So I’ve promised myself to start researching more about it (perhaps this is the next book!).

One place I did fine the subject being addressed was on the site “Meditations for Women” by Jane Powell.  I don’t know Jane but her home page identifies her as Founder of Meditations, Self-Improvement and Personal Growth for Busy Women and the contact address is Olympic Valley, California.

Her meditation on power was spot-on with what we teach about negotiating.  “Women who feel the need to prove their power usually worry, secretly, that they hold no power at all.”  Bingo!!!!

Instead of worrying about how you’re coming across, Ms. Powell recommends “let your power make itself known, through your quiet, calm confidence and the respect that surrounds you.”

I couldn’t have possibly said it better.  With just one small add-on.  ‘Use that quiet, calm confidence to dare to ask for what you want and then negotiate to get it.’

A piece in Forbes.com  asks that million dollar question.

Blogger and free-lance journalist Susannah Breslin, ever pithy and never at a loss for words, writes in her Pink Slipped column that “I’m good at what I do. Now I want the money to show for it.” She knows she’s got to negotiate to get it but, before she begins (knowing that women are famously bad negotiators) she considers whether or not she needs to be more of a bitch.  To get an answer, she consults another well known negotiation blogger, LA lawyer Victoria Pynchon who tells her ‘No!’

We couldn’t agree more.  As Ms. Pynchon rightly points out, to come across hard-nosed and bitchy is a sure tip-off to the other side that you’re feeling insecure about the value of your position (and perhaps even the worth of your person!).

After her conversation, Susannah concludes “I decide negotiating isn’t really about negotiating with other people. It’s about negotiating with yourself. It’s about getting rid of who you used to be so you can make room for who you want to be.”

Right on, sister!

That’s the heart of our argument in Dare to Ask! Be who you are and collaborate with the other side on the basis of your mutual interests, not by trying to intimidate or posture.  You’ll be amazed at how much more you get of what you want.

Self-Aware Susannah Breslin

The difference is more than just semantics.  And it bodes well for women negotiators who know how to apply their skills to leverage better situations for themselves.

Yes, the data continues to confirm that women do worse than men.  Even as they advance upward.  Only 14 per cent —-barely 1 in 10!!!!—executive officers at Fortune 500 companies are women.  Disgraceful!  Talent still rises to the top, witness the Virginia Rometty (head of IBM) or Mary Barra (first woman to lead new car development at GM).  But it’s a long, tough, unlikely slog for a woman.

So what’s the significance of ‘labryinth’?

Unlike the glass ceiling metaphor, which suggests a single, unknown obstacle arising to cut off a woman’s upward mobility, labyrinth’s are all about how well you negotiate each twist and turn.  In other words, how successful you are at negotiating the next step up.

As Professor Carli notes, instead of smashing the ceiling, the goal is to find one of many different paths to the top along a route of hills and valleys. More reason than ever to hone those negotiating skills.

Even Ms.Barra of G.M., who says she’s not ever encountered gender discrimination, urges women  who encounter roadblocks to “either change that” (i.e. negotiate!!!!!) or move on. “The worst thing in the world is to stay in that position.  Life’s too short.”

It’s organized for women business leaders in profit or non-profit sector and, if history is a good predictor, you can expect lots of talk about negotiation.  HBS is a center of work in women and negotiation, an early adapter of the compelling need to teach women how to assert themselves.

One of the stars in the field at Harvard is Hanna Riley Bowles, an old friend of ours besides being a spot-on thinker. While Hanna isn’t listed on the faculty roster, notice of the conference is a great opportunity to listen to her thoughts about women and negotiating.

Like this about the ‘Entitlement Effect’,  the differential between why men and women get paid for the same work::

“We’re not saying gender discrimination doesn’t exist. But we are saying, you know, there’s a behavioral explanation to this as well.

We want to make clear: this is not to blame women. Our perspective is that, instead of waiting for the tectonic plates of society to shift, we would rather ask what we can do in the interim. How can we change the situation through negotiation? That’s a big motivation for us.

When we think about what might make women walk into a negotiation with, say, lower expectations than men, one of the explanations for that comes from social psychology. It’s called the entitlement effect. That research shows that in conditions of ambiguity, if you bring men and women into the lab and you say either one of two things: “Work until you think you’ve earned the $10 we just gave you,” or “Work and then tell us how much you think you deserve,” the women work longer hours with fewer errors for comparable pay, and pay themselves less for comparable work. But if there’s a standard [that men and women know], then this result goes away.

This entitlement effect is a little hard to understand. Some of it is linked to perceived deservedness: In ambiguity, women perceive that they deserve less than men.”